The Day After

It was 7 years ago almost to the day since I made my last feature film. Yesterday, I completed my third feature film. After three and a half weeks of nonstop principal photography for “Generational Sins,” we are finished. It is done. I think in the last two months, tonight will be the second time I have gone to bed before 3AM.

I was given so much in this film. People sacrificed their time, sleep, resources, they opened their homes and closed their businesses so that this story could be told. My crew was sincerely like my family for these weeks. Last night, I looked around at my cast and crew — my family — before giving my toasting speech at the wrap party. I was overcome by emotion and a rush of love and appreciation as I stared into the eyes of men and women who devoted so much to make this film come alive.

There were days that were tough: emotional and sometimes dark moments with long nights and 16, 17, 18 hour days at times. Two days in particular, I thought I might pass out or implode, yet my crew and my Lord carried me and sustained me to go back into this dream world and navigate the rocky waters. We would arrive at the next sunny spot in the ocean where the truest expressions from my phenomenal talent could be played out and the truth of the scene could be told. I prayed a lot, and the Lord showed up more in these weeks than ever before. Lightning seemingly followed us wherever we filmed and it would stop pouring down rain just in time to get the shot before the storms came back. Sometimes the lightning illuminated the skies in the backgrounds of scenes and the thunder rumbled through the microphones. We could have and almost should have been derailed at so many turns, but our vessel was set upright and together we persevered through. As a result, we have created a truly stunning film. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and I am in awe of the footage I have reviewed.

My cast and crew have been abundantly kind with the words they have said towards me and the compliments they have paid me. I know how very broken I am, and I know how easy it is to be tempted to be lost in the dark shadows of the valleys of life. I often see myself in a most critical eye. But my friends have raised me up on their shoulders and energized me each and every second on and off set with their passion, love, personalities, and their own stories and life experiences to feel whole and nourished by their trust in me.

Today I am overwhelmed by feelings. When the last scene wrapped yesterday, I broke down and wept tears of gratitude and relief, but also tears of sadness as I knew that what was on set will never be again. I am so thankful this film was, and that we had this precious time together. I now move on to making “Generational Sins” a third time in the edit and post-production, but I am propelled and excited to finally bring this story to audiences and into people’s lives.

I always want to direct movies, and I loved every single second of this incredible experience and the beautiful people that crossed our productions’ path. My mind rushes to what is next, the next story, edit, screenplay to create. But today, I rest and I enjoy my friends’ glowing faces and company before we all fly to our own parts of the world. These people will live in my memory and my heart for eternity.

Just before I said action for the last shot of the final scene of the film, I took a deep breath, I played Claire De Lune on my phone and I prayed to Jesus, “If this is the last time I ever get to say action again… Thank you.”

Sincerely,
Spencer